MY LIFE IS IMPORTANT TO ME
Saturday, August 30, 2014
THE VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY
From Kiss to Kiss
I was invited to accompany Mama, my would be
mother- in-law (I also addressed her as Mama, as others in the family did) and
Rosy’s younger sister, to Mussoorie who needed consultation with some
specialist doctor there.
Our wedding date was yet to be finalised, possibly
it was only a few days before our wedding some times in the month of November. I willingly and with alacrity jumped to the
invitation, as Rosy was also to accompany us.
The ride, in the nearly empty bus to
Mussoorie, snuggling close to Jeet, now that we had come a bit closer to each
other with frequent meetings, in the approaching cold weather was heavenly.
Every time the bus took a sharp turn, on the circuitous hill-road, the force
generated by the turn would throw us even closer. It was an entirely new
experience for me, sadly the thirty or so Kilometers did not take too long to
be covered and reaching the bus-stand, I and Rosy got down along with others,
albeit rather reluctantly.
I still have my doubts, if the whole thing was not
pre-planned by Mama, a understanding mother, who possibly wanted to provide the
two of us, some private time. My suspicions appeared to
be justified since, no sooner that we had reached 'Library', the famous land mark of Mussoorie,
from where the track led down to the doctor’s clinic, Mama casually suggested
that we two go for a stroll around.
It was off-season in Mussoorie. With the
tourists gone back to the plains, most of the shops were shuttered, restaurants
and cinemas buttoning down for the coming winters, the town with few permanent
residents was nearly deserted.
Currently my reputation was under a
serious cloud among the prospective sisters-in law. Although the two of us had
had some moments together but had not advanced beyond the
Hand-holding stage, what to say of
kissing, as yet, They possibly were under the impression that this was the done
thing having caught the elder sister, mooching around a number of times
Much later, I learnt that that Rosy
was fed up with her sister's interest in our love life, who in any case was
nearly paranoid about this and could not understand this act of omission on our
part. Questioning her time and again: Has he kissed you? Did he kiss you? Why
has he not kissed you? Considering this as a blot on her, Rosy was also under
pressure, which she was finding hard to bear.
I had decided this time to finally
removes the stigma and thus climb a few notches up in the eyes of her sisters.
I have no doubt that with her sixth sense, Rosy had also got an inkling about
my intentions, especially when I suggested and she accepted, that we take a
walk down the even more deserted Camels Back road, without comment.
Hand in hand, Rosy quiet, now a
passive, though willing co-conspirator, I tense and not too confident of having
enough courage to achieve my mission, we ambled for some distance on the
deserted track of a road and sat down, close together, on the first bench, we
found. Both of us short of words,. a pregnant silence, laced with a bit of
expectation sat between the two of us.
The lack of verbal conversation, with a high
voltage current flowing to and fro between Rosy and me did not deter the silent
communication, the two of us expecting some thing to happen yet not too sure of
it, taking place;.
I was naturally nervous, an
inexperienced first timer, apprehensive and no doubt more than a bit confused.
Slowly very slowly, sitting by her side, I finally gathered enough courage and
some how managed to peck at her left cheek. Nothing happened, the sky did not
fall, lightning did not strike; the feeling of nervousness so over powering
that it totally masked any other sensation which I might have been experiencing
at the moment. It was definitely not a moment of passing ecstasy, as one would
have expected. However, I had managed to some how cross the Rubicon. There was
no apparent reaction from Rosy, though no doubt an upheaval must have been
taking place in her also. As I backed-off, feeling sheepish, I happened to
lookup and ahead across the track, there on the hillside were two women who had
been watching my amateurish antics and laughing to their hearts content. It did
dampen my spirits and added to my confusion to a considerable extent. I do not
recall that if we spoke about this non-incident at all, both of us pretending
as if nothing had transpired. But some thing irreversible had taken place
between the two of us. it was the start of the journey of discovering each other.
What had just changed every thing
between the two of us, did appear to be so unreal. The desolate town, the
deserted track, the pale November afternoon sun, the rays filtering through the
dense foliage of the pine trees, trying to fight the chill in the air, the
peeping-toms having by now disappeared somewhere, all adding to make it look
like an illusion. The to the two of us, a confused lot, wondering if it had happened or was it just our imagination .
The next step in the turns and
twists of the 'Journey of Discovery' just begun was to follow very shortly. We
moved to the RV, decided earlier, the Kwality Restaurant where we were to meet
for lunch. As we sat, opposite each other, waiting for our order to arrive,
avoiding each others eyes, oblivious to the presence of her mother and younger
sister sitting at the table, Rosy suddenly caught hold of my right hand and put
the middle finger between her teeth and bit the tip hard. The sharp pain and
the suddenness of the unexpected assault took me completely by surprise, the
instantaneous eye contact with her was a searing lightning bolt which hit me
hard. Possibly the pent-up emotions caused by the events of the last hour or so
needed a quick release or was it her innocent way of demonstrating her slowly
budding love for me? A question that remained
unanswered. Through a spontaneous gesture, to
me it appeared as a final act of accepting me as her companion on the voyage of
adventure, discovery and adjustment; a long journey together that lay in the
uncertain future.
Strange the journey which began
with a perfunctory kiss, that day, early in November of 1958 in Mussoorie also
ended with a kiss late at night on 30th October 2000, nearly 42
years later at Noida. It did end when she left me with her lifeless body in my
arms, with our lips glued together, in my desperate but unsuccessful efforts to
revive her, by mouth to mouth respiration.